My father died with no will, what am I entitled to?

My father passed away and he had no will. He ws divorced from my mother and was married again. She is not cooperating with me at all. They did not own a home, but had joint bank accounts and I believe he had a life insurance policy from his place of employment that was given to him when he retired. And the wife is not being cooperative about personal belongings like pictures, trinkets, golf clubs (which she does not use) and old stuff that my father and I used to buy (we like to think we were 'american pickers' - when he was still alive he would pass things along to me and I would sell them on ebay) My dad always talked of me getting this and that, I know he wanted me to have things but I guess he never filled out a will. And here is a real kicker, the wife got the honors of the flag from the military funeral - now everyone tells me that the oldest son is supposed to receive the flag. It has just been terrible - my father is gone and all I got was a prayer card and a bullet shell (from the funeral) I have heard of probate but it sounds like that is more for property like a house or something. Is there any thing I can do about bank accounts, personal belongings? We live in NY - I know sometimes the state has different guide lines.